May 25, 2022. Compassion is that one fucking friend, you know the one. They are always exhausted while somehow maintaining unconditional positive attention on your every word. And you’re like, “Yo, I say this out of love — you need a break.” And they’re like, “You’re so right. I just need to carve out aContinue reading “Compassion is that one fucking friend…”
Author Archives: Rajani Gudlavalleti
My Vocal History: The Origin
May 4, 2022. If my voice told you its history, she would tell you about all the times adults perceived child-her to be so very quiet. She would tell you how surprising that is given her velocity inside the temples of my mind and weight inside the depths of my stomach. My voice would tellContinue reading “My Vocal History: The Origin”
I am not drowning today
March 23, 2022 Just getting on the platform Just grasping that one breath Maybe I have space now? How much will this stretch? My chest is expanding Is that abundance I feel? Or is it an illusion my mind is trying to steal? I clamber on this platform to create space for those I love.Continue reading “I am not drowning today”
Markers of Whiteness
The way I say hello. The lyrics that I know. As if above me there’s an arrow: ^ oh, she kinda white ^ That suburban impact — Stacked Upon my brown body — Facts I cannot fight — Lack of seeing me.
message from the Sun, part 1
The Sun has manifested us. manifested constructs of time and space carrying for us past present future The Sun has witnessed us. witnessed every moment of warmth on our skin imprinting us for generations The Sun has developed within us. developed an awareness of our churning power our potential power for re-generating The Sun hasContinue reading “message from the Sun, part 1”
Leadership
March 24, 2021. I am afraid to be a leader. Assassination. Cancellation. Overwhelm. Paranoia. Fatigue. Assassination. Limitation. Disappointment. Disappointing. Constrained. Assassination. Frustration. Boundary-less. Loneliness. Rage. Assassination. I am afraid to be a leader [who is an honest authentic loud dark-skinned queer woman of color because I don’t want to be assassinated].
12 Hours
12:30 AM on January 20, 2021 Honestly, I keep forgetting. Then I’m like, oh right his Twitter account was removed or oh hey those white militia men are still down the 95 or oh damn her middle name is “Devi.” Then I am brought back in to this pivotal moment. Ever so briefly shook. InContinue reading “12 Hours”
life amidst death
January 1, 2021 Life amidst death. Right now, this is how I choose to capture the year 2020. Within these three words — life amidst death — there is a universe. An ever-evolving, ever-adapting, beyond comprehension, heart-wrenching, heart-expanding, destructive, chaotic, sensible universe. If not for 2020, it may have taken me far too long toContinue reading “life amidst death”
Liberation?
Originally written: November 25, 2019 | Revised: November 22, 2020 Being successful in whatever you do is in itself an act of liberation and resistance. “Surviving and Resisting Hate: A Toolkit for People of Color” Dr. Hector Y. Adames & Dr. Nayeli Y. Chavez-Dueñas (2017) I want for this quote to guide me — andContinue reading “Liberation?”
Untangling Hinduism: Liberation for South Asians?
November 14, 2020 I have taken this year to better understand what I mean by liberation and then begin to build the pieces to achieve it. It feels hypocritical — and exhausting — to be a harm reduction and racial justice community organizer demanding justice for all people marginalized by state violence if I don’tContinue reading “Untangling Hinduism: Liberation for South Asians?”
rajani gudlavalleti 